Ways of Forgiving the Alcoholic
Has a addict caused you difficulties? Can you let go of the things an alcoholic has done that have practically destroyed your life? Have you considered letting go of the past through demonstrating willful forgiveness ?
By the time you finish this article you will have a few essential tools that will help you begin the process of letting go of the past and forgiving the problem-drinker for the damaging things he or she may have done.
Forgiving the alcoholic takes work. It’s very much like keeping the weeds out of the garden.
Do you think they truly wanted to become an addict?
I cannot imagine that anyone when they were young said to their self; “I want to be an alcoholic when I grow up.” With this in mind, try to get a grip on what the word “addiction” means. At this point in the article, take a few minutes and really think about that statement.
Do you understand that this is more about YOUR spiritual health than anything else?
This is all about you getting rid of the emotional junk and damaging emotions that you are carrying around. It doesn’t mean that you have to associate with the alcoholic. This is about you feeling better about YOUR life. I like to say that you are cleaning up the trash from your side of the street. You can do this even if the alcoholic’s street is still riddled with garbage. This is about you and you alone!
Am I going to have to trust them after forgiving them?
Forgiving the alcoholic for what they have done does not does not in any way imply you have to trust them. I would say it’s more about understanding that it is an addiction they have and having compassion for their illness. If someone has a deadly contagious disease, you can forgive them for any hurts they’ve caused and love them without necessarily being around them .
Consider setting healthy boundaries that will not exclude them completely from your life, but will still allow you to be loving towards them. Setting boundaries will protect you from their irrational behaviors. That statement only applies if the are still consuming alcohol regularly .
If they have made an indirect amend to you through their changed behavior for several years, you might think about letting them into your life again. Remember, a problem-drinker who has gotten sober is not the same person that they were when they were active in their addiction . It’s not even close in any way, shape or form. .
Do you understand that letting go of the past is simply a choice?
Here’s the key: let go of what they have done. Clinging to past events will only hurt YOU.
- Through spending time in prayer ask for God to help you forgive.
- Make a list of all of the offenses and then physically burn them. Then, never revisit those troublesome situations ever again.
- Say it out loud, either by yourself or to them directly; “I forgive you for the hurtful things you have done.”
- Communicate your thoughts and feelings through writing a letter to them stating that you are forgiving them for the past wreckage that occurred.
- Understand that forgiveness is an ongoing process. It must be maintained regularly.
Hopefully you have grasped my point. An alcoholic is sick with an addiction and cannot control much of his/her irrational behaviors. I feel that because they are so sick they should be loved just like anyone else who has a horrible sickness. This simply means that you must hate the addiction and love the problem drinker . Forgiving an alcoholic will only accomplish one thing, YOUR life will be free from the damaging negative emotional baggage you are carrying around.
